Guard Your Heart

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

I’ll be honest. My response to this Proverb was self-protection in face of adversity, betrayal, and other assaults on my heart. My heart was deeply wounded and I quickly removed any and all access to it.

However, as I matured and began walking through the emotional ordeals with the Holy Spirit, He showed me that this proverb was not instructing me to avoid pain. It was inviting me to guard my heart, not harden my heart.

This proverb was inviting me to guard my heart, not harden my heart.

I unintentionally mishandled the instructions.

Throughout the years, whenever I expressed pain, that open communication was not always well received. I was met with comments about being too sensitive or too expressive.

Consequently, I concluded that my heart was a problem, and the solution was to simply remove it, thereby removing the potential for pain.

I concluded that my heart was a problem, and the solution was to simply remove it

However, each step I took to protect my heart damaged my heart instead. The best parts of me were dying. I was slowly losing myself and disconnecting from who I was created to be. Thus, my heart was no longer a reservoir of love. Instead, it poured out anger, bitterness, and resentment.

my heart was no longer a reservoir of love. Instead, it poured out anger, bitterness, and resentment.

But, I soon learned that guarding my heart meant fortifying it with the right response to pain. God, through the Holy Spirit, was asking me to forgive my offenders. He was calling me to love- just as He does.

guarding my heart meant fortifying it with the right response to pain.

Forgiving and loving was not intended to dismiss the offenses but rather to keep my heart alive.

In Ephesians 6:14, Paul tells us to “put on the breastplate of righteousness.”

In physical battle, the breastplate’s design keeps the heart and other major organs protected. The soldier doesn’t take his heart out of his chest before going to battle just because of its vulnerability. As susceptible as the heart is to injury, it’s still essential to enter the battle. Without it, he can't even be a prospect for the battle. He may be able to fight with a missing kidney or lung, but without a heart, he is dead.

It’s the same spiritually. Our hearts need to be alive for us to accomplish the mission that we’ve been predestined to fulfill. When Jesus was on earth, compassion moved Him to serve the people before him (see Mark 1:41, Matthew 18:27).

Call me silly but I believe love is necessary for any of us, as followers of Christ, to accomplish our God-given purpose. Whether our vocation is plumbing, teaching, cleaning, waitressing, accounting, we need our hearts for the assignment and the people we are called to. Therefore, we must guard it with the breastplate of righteousness.

For me, love, forgiveness, and obedience to the Holy Spirit fused together to form the breastplate that kept my heart well protected from enemies like anger, hate, rage, hypocritical love, gossip, and slander.

Here are the ways guard my heart with righteousness. I invite you to join me on this journey:

1.       Be willing to love

Be willing to abandon your need for an apology and to be avenged. Be willing to give the best of yourself to the people who give you the worst of themselves.

I can admit writing this is far easier than doing it, but it is possible, nonetheless. This is the kind of love that says “forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34, ESV) while being jeered at, mocked, and assaulted.  

Chip Ingram futher expounds on loving in the midst of pain. He says, “Love is giving someone what they need the most, when they deserve it the least at great personal cost to yourself.” This kind of love genuinely pursues the best outcome and desires the best for people that cause us pain. This love turns provides the other cheek after the first was slapped and gives more than is asked. This love also prays for (not against) the offender (See Matthew 5:38-44). Loving like this removes our fixation on the pain and aligns out hearts with Heaven's agenda.

2.       Be willing to forgive

To genuinely love we must be willing to forgive. We must be willing to let go of what hurts to the point of forgetting- not forgetting as in remember no more but forgetting in the sense of forgetting our right to respond the way that the offender deserves.

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells a story about a man owed debt he could not pay. In response, the Master was going to put him and his family into slavery and sell the man’s possessions so that payment could be made. In the man’s plea for mercy, the Master felt compassion and cleared the man’s debt.

His debt was forgiven. The Master no longer required payment. Also, the Master did not inend to remind him of the debt he once owed. However, the man had the opportunity to extend the same kindness he received, but instead, he harshly required the debt that was owed to him be paid.

Even though the person who owed him was not the one who extended the kindness, he was expected to show kindness not because his debtor deserved it but because he knew what it was like to have a debt he could not repay be forgiven. When we choose to follow Christ, we too are forgiven of a debt we cannot pay. In response to this mercy, we should be willing to forgive others.

To forgive is to let go of desire to see someone punished for what they have done to us and instead clean the slate. But that’s when forgiveness feels like it opposes our safety especially when it’s something heinous the person has done.

Forgiving like this requires that we take every thought captive. It means that we refuse to rehearse the pain and, instead, repeatedly remind ourselves of our choice to forgive each time our mind tries to remind us of the offense. It means that we remember to treat this person with the love and kindness we have received from Christ even if they don't deserve it.

So here’s the question, when we wipe the slate clean, does it mean that we are creating space for them to do the same thing again but hoping they make the right decision next time? The answer is yes and no. That leads us to the third way to guard our heart.

3.       Be willing to let the Holy Spirit lead

Forgetting feels scary because it feels like we run the risk of opening ourselves up to the same wounds again. But when we have the Holy Spirit, He leads and guides us. He knows all things and gives us guidance on where to go, what to say, what to do, what relationships to enter and what relationships to avoid. He also tells us how to navigate existing relationships. It’s up to us to lean on His wisdom.

As I grew in learning how God speaks to me through the Holy Spirit, I recognized, in hindsight, that the Holy Spirit had been providing guidance on close relationships in my life, but because I was not as familiar with His voice, I didn’t heed His wisdom. That opened the door for some of the heartache and hardships I experienced but it was a learning experience for future relationships and interactions and even current ones.

He tells me what I should share and what I should withhold. He instructs me on the level of intimacy I should pursue in each relationship.

Jesus had the Holy Spirit and He was given discernment concerning Judas' betrayal and his disciples' desertion of him at crucifixion. Still, He loved them. Still, He forgave them.

When we forgive, we wipe the slate clean and give second chances not because we are gluttons for punishment but because we know that we can trust the Holy Spirit to guide us and God to defend and protect us. Trusting God frees us to forgive and Forgiving frees us to love as Jesus does.

Let's guard our hearts with righteousness and choose the right response to pain. Let's love, forgive, and rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment concerning all relationships.

In our obedience to righteousness, he will guide and instruct us on how to handle each person and situation. We only need to be still and trust Him. T

Let's Pray

Holy Spirit, reveal the places of pain in our hearts to us. Help us to surrender every hurt and every person who has hurt us to the Father. As we surrender the pain, heal our hearts and put the pieces back together again. Reveal to us the heart you intended for us to have.

Where our hearts have become stone, give us a new heart and put the right spirit within us. Help us to love unconditionally as you do. Help us to experience your love so that we are transformed from the inside out and can give to others the same love you gave to us.

Father, we bring our burdens to you in trust, knowing that you are faithful to give our weary souls (mind, will, and emotions), rest. We thank you that you are a healer and we trust you to heal us in every place that we are broken and use our journey of healing to help others who hurt as we do. We love and thank you for all You’ve done for us. Thank you for loving us and forgiving us in spite of all we’ve done. May we never forget your mercy and kindness.

In Jesus’ precious and holy name, Amen!

References

Quotefancy (2025). Top 25 Chip Ingram Quotes (2025 Update). Retrieved June 21, 2025, from https://quotefancy.com/chip-ingram-quotes